writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
