The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
