I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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