Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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