Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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