She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
