So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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