I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize