We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
