dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
