Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
