Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
