If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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