i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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