Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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