maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
