So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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