I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize