Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just google imaged poop.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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