I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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