we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
