So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
