East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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