just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
