I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
