Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
