Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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