For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dick very happy bro
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize