im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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