I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED