Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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  (562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore http://tfl.nu/a739
  Replies (26) Good night (694) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason

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  (847): This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason http://tfl.nu/ngth
  Replies (24) Good night (775) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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  (252): I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck http://tfl.nu/v85x
  Replies (15) Good night (2323) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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  (908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me. http://tfl.nu/x53m
  Replies (6) Good night (507) Bad night (2351)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.

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  (216): I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking. http://tfl.nu/dn0l
  Replies (23) Good night (6610) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4555) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

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  (314): I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures. http://tfl.nu/uab2
  Replies (124) Good night (4856) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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  (727): I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what? http://tfl.nu/li5i
  Replies (37) Good night (5181) Bad night (2054)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4433) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (5) Good night (3230) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.

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  (630): Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends. http://tfl.nu/htzg
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (2807)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.

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  (208): Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1euv
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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  (610): I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend http://tfl.nu/i89p
  Replies (3) Good night (419) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle

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  (727): Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle http://tfl.nu/kzpk
  Replies (7) Good night (360) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?

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  (561): Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis? http://tfl.nu/jflh
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (156)

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