I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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