Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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  (440): It looked like if robin williams had a vagina http://tfl.nu/jvnv
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (2832)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.

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  (315): Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever. http://tfl.nu/us8u
  Replies (26) Good night (951) Bad night (5122)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The responsible thing...show them the break room.

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  (314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do? (505): The responsible thing...show them the break room. http://tfl.nu/55u1
  Replies (25) Good night (4287) Bad night (1036)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (6264) Bad night (1103)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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  (843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor. http://tfl.nu/1pvp
  Replies (156) Good night (4960) Bad night (1237)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...

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  (204): When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends? (1-204): When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why? (204): I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well... http://tfl.nu/o1jd
  Replies (21) Good night (7832) Bad night (977)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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  (905): She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was. http://tfl.nu/uuuj
  Replies (14) Good night (1755) Bad night (5345)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.

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  (703): theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already. http://tfl.nu/gg0y
  Replies (11) Good night (2732) Bad night (962)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone

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  (206): In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone http://tfl.nu/jkow
  Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (1522)
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  (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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  (585): And I feel bad. (716): Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft? http://tfl.nu/a3w7
  Replies (7) Good night (1818) Bad night (922)
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  (310): View more from California

  We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating

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  (310): We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating http://tfl.nu/6jwq
  Replies (17) Good night (968) Bad night (1604)
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  (562): View more from California

  There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.

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  (562): There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph. http://tfl.nu/ubbg
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (464)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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  (651): ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/5vg0
  Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (597)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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  (732): How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!? http://tfl.nu/ssco
  Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (368)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.

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  (410): I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME. http://tfl.nu/hzsz
  Replies (1) Good night (997) Bad night (421)

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