Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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