i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
