I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
