I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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