Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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