i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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