do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i think im in europe. pls send help
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
