is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
