I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
as a side note pls kill me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
