So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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