All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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