I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
