Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's great music for shaving your balls
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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