this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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