I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
