first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
