She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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