There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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