Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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