I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
