An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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