i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
