it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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