you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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