Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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