I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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