You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
