3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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