My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize