Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
